But in the case of average guys who are neither inbred nor brewing meth in their toilet, I sometimes wish I could give constructive criticism, like, "No, but good effort, and I love how you worked it so seamlessly into the conversation," or "No, but outstanding use of humor, and extra points for using advanced vocabulary terms."
This is how I imagine it could work:
See how that really softened the blow of rejection? This is the future of dating, right here.
That is too funny!!! You don't have a performance review on our comments do you. Please, say no.
ReplyDeleteHaha no, I'm not nearly that organized! It would be funny though. I could grade them for things like insight or number of compliments.
DeleteI would appreciate handouts like that, or just stickers. I would be happy if I would get golden stars for my flirting efforts! You can wear them like badges of honour...or failure.
ReplyDeleteBars and clubs should totally start doing that. It would be so much fun.
DeleteThat is a fantastic idea. A review is better than a laugh, surely!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, this is brilliant. I think a lot of men could benefit from a performance review. I think you should start doing them.
ReplyDeleteAs for the 'yer priddy' man - terrifyingly accurate drawing of a creeper!
Rebeccah Writes
I love this! I want to apply it to every situation that I am in, though. For example, the lady standing beside me at the bakery section of the market who is blocking me from seeing the selections? I could give her one of these sheets and mark "consideration of others" a one or even zero. That would make me feel much better, and might be nicer than what I really wanted to do (punch her).
ReplyDeleteLet's see, who else could I give one of these little performances review to? How about the mailman? "I hate getting my mail at 6 pm when I KNOW the next neighborhood over gets theirs at 1:30 in the afternoon. Timing: 2 (out of 10)."
Gosh, I am so on a roll here! I could even rate my sister when she calls! I could give her a 9 if she asks me lots of questions about myself, or give her a 3 or 4 if she just rambles and tells me a story I have heard before.
This is going to be awesome, Haley!!! You have changed my life forever. And I just KNOW that everyone will be super-grateful for the Performance Review. Right? What could possibly go wrong with a little constructive criticism when these people so obviously need it.
xxo
MOV
ps-- I like the idea of Poke The Rock's stickers. Would they be forced to wear the bad review stickers though? I think they should. That is the price of being involved in MOV's life. :)
Maybe it would become like a competition and people would literally be elbowing each other out of the way for the chance to do something nice for you.
DeleteAt least she's helpful! LOL
ReplyDeleteLoved it - can you keep up this funny, creative pace for the rest of the alphabet!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I might not be coherent anymore by the end of it. But I intend to try!
DeleteThis should indeed be the future. The future with score cards!
ReplyDeleteAnother GREAT one!
ReplyDeletePriceless! Perfect laugh for a Friday afternoon, thanks. I too get the occasional interest, and at my age...it really does boast one's morale. I'm 62 and without the beauty of chemicals would be drab grey...argh. Long story, but often I don't wear my wedding ring while at work; and a rather good looking Italian guy who's a regular there said he'd planned to ask me out. Something was said and he over head a conversation where I mentioned hubby, he assumed I wasn't married and told he was going to ask me out.
ReplyDeleteA-Z
LOL!! I love that idea, haha! This is just too funny. I need to share your blog with all my friends and family. They will all love it. If you're blog isn't already famous, it should be. :)
ReplyDeleteThe A to Z blog said in the latest post to add a link to your own A to Z blog in the comments, so here's mine: kristenhead.blogspot.com
Too funny...good luck to the girl :-)
ReplyDeleteLoving your posts.
ReplyDeleteHaha, that was hysterical!!!
ReplyDeletelolol--literally! Laughing out loud. Too funny. For the girl who can't stop her inner editor--perfect. :-) lol
ReplyDeleteLOL I would love a performance review, except rarely do I ever attempt to "pick up" or "hit on" anyone. These reviews would surely help, though, I'm sure!
ReplyDelete